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Andrew Solomon is a writer and lecturer on psychology, politics, and the arts; winner of the National Book Award; and an activist in LGBT rights, mental health, and the arts.
Please watch the Ted Talk below, entitled Love, No Matter What with Andrew Solomon. This link has subtitles. Note that the video is 21 minutes long.
https://www.amara.org/en/videos/TCSy0zGPhWm3/info/love-no-matter-what/
When you have finished watching, please write a minimum 100 word response on any aspect of his presentation and post to the blog. Make sure to first write your response on a word document. Thank you.
In this Ted talk he made me look at things differently. When He talked about the horizontal identity i couldn't help but think about myself. My parents are strictly christian and I was raised in a baptist church. My father is a preacher so it is already expected that i act as a, "preachers kid" being good and innocent. I stray from this path and my parents always are trying to fix me. So i can definitely relate to this.
ReplyDeleteOne thing i can say is that we have come so far from the 60's. It really shocks me to believe that i have once belonged to a country who believed that people with mental disabilities weren't considered human. It is really depressing to think of this but i am glad that now we don't think this way. "We have both social progress and medical progress"
I can relate to this because i am always being called "the church girl" and I feel like i have to live up to that and be "perfect" because EVERYONE is watching. When you pointed out that our society once believed people with these disabilities were not human. I never thought of it that way and i do believe people back in the 60s were treating these people like that. Just like how people treat the homosexuals this way. I'm so glad we are gradually moving on from these problems and always reevaluating.
DeleteTo Dynesha:
DeleteI love how you’re talking about the change in society that happened and how people think and see how others should act. But even though it changed a lot in the last 50 years it’s still not in a way it should be. Still a lot of people talk bad about people just because they look strange or can’t do something that others can. We’re still judging people without knowing them and it’s a big part of the human life. Maybe it’s related to the instinct of protection. Everything that is different is considered as wrong in our brain. If we eat something that tastes weird we’re not sure anymore if it’s good and if we really want to eat it. Just because our brain is doing the work and we can’t control everything about our thoughts.
From Maritza to Dynesha
DeleteHaving an extremely religious mother, I can also relate to this. There is a certain standard that “Christian kids” are supposed to live up to but sometimes, I can’t help but feel that it’s a cookie cutter lifestyle that I do not wish to be a part of. I often talk to my mom about individuality and how I am not her clay to mold even if what I do disagrees with what she thinks. I should be able to begin to embrace my identity even if my mother does not like what she sees.
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DeleteIt’s interesting how his speech reminded you of yourself in a certain way. This is good in a way because what you said basically means that you realized that being different is okay and that no matter what your parents wanted you to be, they would have to love you unconditionally. I mean you are their child. They can’t control your life and who you become to be as a human. So yeah I like the way you did that.
DeleteFrom Samiya to Dynesha
DeleteYeah, I understand what you mean but from a different stand point. My mother is a lesbian so I know what it’s like. My mother said growing up she could not express how she truly felt and just conformed to the norm of society. She tried it with men obviously because my brother and I were born, but she never fully felt happy. So she finally came to terms the way she was born. Some of my family members would criticizes her and say she is not thinking properly and maybe she needs "help", like she had a sickness or something. But I love my mother with unconditional love all my life and I'm glad society is slowly coming to terms with the LGBT community and not acting like they did in the 60s.
I agree Miricle, you make a great point. I also believe that when you think of things this way it takes a lot more stress out of life. Too frequently we worry about fitting in or parents worry whether or not their children will fit in when in all actuality it doesn't matter whether you fit in or not. As long as you are surrounded by unconditional love and you show unconditional love to others.
DeleteI agree with Betty and miracle you guys both make a great point. I love how he stressed that love should be unconditional and it should matter weather the person has disabilities nor should there sexual preference or orientation matter. if it is not true love then these will matter. I love the story he expressed about his mother. I love how he said his mother telling him he wanted the different Ballon still didn't change the fact that he is gay. He got all his points across very clearly.
DeleteAndrew was very open to the people in the audience. He described his first incident with his mother and brother in a store. A clerk offered a balloon to both Andrew and his brother. Andrew wanted a pink balloon and his brother wanted a red balloon. Andrew’s mother tried to emphasize that “his” favorite color was blue. Andrew was saying that some children feel as though their parents don’t love them and that wasn’t the case. He said that the parents don’t accept them and that’s when the emotions run through. He brought up a Time Magazine article back in the 1960s about Down syndrome. Down syndrome wasn’t really big back in those years but nowadays, we see a bunch of people with this poor disability. Over the years, a place called the Cooke Center is teaching these children with disabilities the things that they can learn in a regular school, just in their type of environment because of their mental disabilities. I loved this talk because I actually got to understand what it feels like to be on the inside looking out instead of the outside looking in. We never really know what it feels like until we are put into that position and I felt that Andrew took me there.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteIt’s really great that you got to understand what it felt like to be on the inside while you’re on the outside. I’m guessing he made it too clear to you that being different is okay and not a bad thing. Now and days, being different actually is WAAYYY better than being “normal”. Everyone is different in there own way and he said that to make it clear to us and understand better than what we hear from people.
DeleteMaritza Stehnach
ReplyDeleteAlthough I personally do not support the gay community, I found Andrew Solomon’s point about how deafness is seen as a disease and how it correlates to how being gay is treated to be quite valid. Despite the fact that they are different from what is socially normal, deaf people have communities where their needs are met because they are not alone. They share the same identities, just as gay citizens share the same identity. This ties into what Solomon said towards the end as he discussed his family and how families seldom accept having gay children. Families are supposed to be the closest to you and your first community but parents are “trying to breed identity out of misery.” Like the assignment on sexism in ads where I expressed my belief that the individual should be emphasized in society, I believe that parents should appreciate the individuality of their child, whether they are gay, straight, etc.
Nice comment. I appreciate the fact that you can recognize his words as valid while they may disagree with your personal beliefs; not many people are mature enough to do that! Individuality is certainly the most important trait to be nurtured and accepted by parents, though today, many parents still try to crush that in their children, sending them on a streamlined path of normality through the child's upbringing. No matter the identity the child chooses, you're right, they should be accepted by their parents.
DeleteJaida Degnan
DeleteYou said “I personally do not support the gay community,” and later followed that with “I believe that parents should appreciate the individuality of their child, whether they are gay, straight, etc.” A contradiction that has me utterly perplexed. I am not entirely sure how you can open your statement with such a disturbing confession as not accepting the gay community as a whole and continue to argue the importance of accepting individuality. In todays society, people are so caught up in saying they accept and encourage individuality and diversity and yet many people like yourself seem to be challenged to practice what they preach. People like you, who say that “the individual should be emphasized in society” but don't accept people because of their sexuality or what they identify as, puzzle me. I personally do not accept the homophobic community because they blatantly discriminate against people by something they can't control. Like deaf culture, gay culture experiences challenges of social, familial, and personal acceptance. Solomon clearly states that gays fall under the horizontal identities which have no cure and the only way to deal with them would be to accept them.It is 2015 and our black president has legalized gay marriage and the time to accept our differences as people have passed. Catch up with the times.
I completely agree with Jaida. You cant try to brand yourself as someone who believes individuality should be appreciated while you don't appreciate the individuality of others. You cant pick and choose in what ways you're going to be accepting and which groups your are going to choose to support. It upsets me to hear people make these claims while living in contradiction to them.
DeleteTessa Garbacik
DeleteIt is hard to agree with your statement when there are two very strong elements to it. Your opening statement, which I cannot agree with personally, says one thing. Yet the rest of your comment talks about acceptance and identities, which I can agree with. The problem with society is that some people view other’s differences as things that take away from their normal lives. Recognizing that parents should accept the individuality of their child is great, but when others start to recognize the individuality of strangers, that is when the difference will be made. If we can look outside of people we are close with and accept everyone, it will be much easier to take pride in ourselves.
Timothy Schuler to It Stehnach
DeleteI will start off by saying that I respect your honesty with your personal opinions. However, you seem to be having some internal struggle because you contradict yourself quite a bit. You start by saying that you do not support the gay community, whatever that means. There is a difference between not supporting a culture and disagreeing with a culture, so I’m not sure exactly what you meant. Regardless, you agreed that deafness and homosexuality are both things that people can’t help, and then continued to say that parents should accept their children no matter what. I am interested to know why you don’t support the gay community and why you simultaneously think that you accept them. If you are going to be a bigot, be a bigot. If you are going to be accepting, be accepting.
I completely agree with Jaida, Veronica, and Tessa's comments. Your opening statement that you “do not support the gay community" and your concluding sentence “I believe that parents should appreciate the individuality of their child, whether they are gay, straight, etc." are a complete contradiction. In the future you might be a parent and perhaps you'll even be have a child that's gay, and how will you deal with it as you "do not support the gay community?" You go on about saying how you support individuality yet your first sentence doesn't correlate with that whatsoever. If you really support individuality, maybe you should look up the definition individuality and see what you’re really supporting. Or should I say not supporting.
DeleteAlexis Mayfield to Maritza
DeletePlease.
Stop.
So your saying that all people should be equal and accepted, but that you don't support the gay community? This statement is highly contradictory and I personally can't understand why you would say such a thing. I completely agree with Jaida; "catch up with the times" is an accurate statement. I just can't get over the contradictions in this; figure yourself out before you post a comment like this.
DeleteJoyce Parker to Maritza
DeleteI completely agree with your honesty about not being supportive of the gay community, but as everyone is saying...if you're going to make an argument against something, you shouldn't contradict your own statement because it makes you look ignorant.
Joyce Parker to Maritza
DeleteI completely agree with your honesty about not being supportive of the gay community, but as everyone is saying...if you're going to make an argument against something, you shouldn't contradict your own statement because it makes you look ignorant.
Julia to Maritza
DeleteI completely agree with the people above who are calling out your contradiction. It’s not possible to support individuality when you don’t support expressing individuality in one of the most important ways in today’s society: sexuality. Say you have a child. There is a possibility that your child will be gay or some other thing that you don’t support. This child will feel unloved and hate themselves because they can’t be normal in your eyes. Support applies to everything, not just what you want to support.
From Ethan to Maritza
DeleteI will say just what everyone else has said that disagree with your post, which is the fact that you contradict yourself greatly in your post. For a topic so powerfully spoken about by Andrew Solomon and treated so seriously in our society, you don't seem to have your head on straight about it. I agree with Tim, if you are accepting then you're accepting. If not, then not. But I would have thought more carefully about your feelings about individuality and Solomon's talk before posting. You say you disagree with the gay community but end by pointing out the importance of acceptance. Hmmmmmm.
From Alice to Maritza:
DeleteIt is quite ironic that you state that you are homophobic, yet you also state that everybody should be accepted for who they are. If the second half of your statement were true, then you would be accepting of the gay community. Being accepting of individuality means being accepting of things that are different from your own traits. I agree with Jaida when she says “catch up with the times.” You are lying to yourself when you say you believe everybody should be an individual because you are openly stating that you don’t accept a large group of people for being who they are.
I really like the fact that he’s showing us that his mind had changed. After conversations with different people he couldn’t really see a disease anymore. After talking to parents he saw different views and he shows that people can’t understand what is going on with other ones. They might not hear everything but this just means they see the world different than we do. They could talk about the ones that can hear that they have a disease and it would make everyone unhappy. So I think he really brings up a good point about “diseases” which actually are none if you see them in the right way.
ReplyDeleteFrom Maritza to Nadine
DeleteI think it’s an excellent point that he changed his mind. Society often tries to put certain notions in the minds of participants without proper knowledge of the full situation; especially when it comes to diseases and disabilities. People who have a disease or a disability often feel different from others because society treats them differently. Thus, communities of people who share the same disease/disability are created and often hated by other citizens. Their differences act as a curtain to those who don’t understand as and their true identity is seldom seen.
Nikki to Nadine
DeleteI also liked this. I think it’s important for everything to be able to consciously recognize and verbally accept when we have changed our minds about something rather than pretending that we never thought that way in the first place. I feel like it can be hard to do sometimes, and it takes a certain level of maturity to publicly renounce yourself, but it’s a necessary thing to be able to truly grow as a person.
From Samiya to Nadine
DeleteYeah I agree with you. As Andrew said there are so many communities and programs where these people of “illnesses” are thriving. If we as a society would take a chance to do like Andrew did and step out of our “norm” we could really see the beauty of all these people with “illnesses” and see them as only unique human beings. That would make life easier for them, and society a more understanding environment.
Andrew Solomon’s TED talk is very inspiring and astonishing because he doesn't only focus on being a homosexual but he focuses on a lot of topics that in an earlier time weren't viewed as socially acceptable such as dwarfism, down-syndrome, or even deafness. Magazine from the 50s and 60s had the viewpoint that parents that had children born with such “disabilities” shouldn't feel guilt from giving up or hiding their child away to keep them from society’s eyes. It’s interesting to see how people have changed their standpoint from that perspective to a more welcoming, understanding, and celebrated one but when it comes to homosexuality, that openness is still not there like it should be. Even if you yourself haven’t experienced one of these things, Andrew Solomon still manages to touch your heart when he talks about how crude the human society can still be to people like that.
ReplyDeleteI agree, I think that's what made his point even more viable. He found a way to show how the struggles of homosexuals correspond with people that come from all walks of life and experience different struggles. We all know someone with a sickness or someone who feels as though they need to fit in. Because this is so, we all could identify with not only homosexuals but with the insecurity we ourselves face as Americans.
DeleteI love how you mentioned Mr.Solomon's use of other ongoing issues rather than just homosexuality.This I thought was most important because if his beliefs and statement were just surrounding the gay communities, I wouldn't have been able to understand his accusations
DeleteI personally found this video to be extremely fascinating. Andrew Solomon asked questions that I don’t believe have ever really been brought to light before, and that a lot of people have never even thought of asking. I found it especially shocking when he began talking about the parents of the shooter from Columbine. I was very surprised that they were willing to talk to him at all, and even more that they continued to keep in touch. It made me think of a book I read last year entitled “Nineteen Minutes” by Jody Picoult, which told a story through multiple perspectives about a fictional school shooting. One of these perspectives was the mother of the shooter, and similarly dealt with the real life questions Solomon was asking Mrs. Klebold. It really makes you stop and think about how you would react if something like that were to actually happen.
ReplyDeleteTo Nikki:
DeleteIt’s interesting to see how you couldn’t really understand what happened to the parents and that they were acting in a way that we sometimes can’t understand. He was talking about the love of people before. And again I think we can’t control everything. Our brain is working in one way and even if we try to forget about things and change our thoughts it might not always work. The human brain is a miracle and not made to be controlled. It’s made to control our body and not the other way around.
I also found the interview of the parents surprising. I was impressed that he quoted them frequently and didn’t put his own bias in. He seemed to really care about the people he interviewed and he really listened to them. I was really impressed that he interviewed a wide assortment of people. He not only interviewed the parents of a school shooter, but the parents of an autistic child. The parents were in very different situations they all loved their children and wanted the best for them.
DeleteAndrew Solomon's research showed the drastic change we have undergone since the 60's. People who are different from what we as a society is considered normal struggle and try to hide the thing that makes them different and unique. By doing this those individuals whether gay, physically or mentally handicapped have created their own culture and thrive when around others like them. Things like being gay, having down syndrome or Dwarfism were rejected from society as a whole and without the loving parents of these children our society would not have been able to start such a drastic change. I was stunned to hear not that long ago a person diagnosed with Down syndrome was considered to not be a person and parents were encouraged to leave them at the hospital where they could “die in peace”.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Hannah. Back then it was socially acceptable to think of someone with a disability as less than human never to amount to anything or achieve anything as great as a "normal person" and I agree that we've come a long way to end up accepting those type of people and seeing how they've flourished as a community. Although there are still people who shun and antagonize people born with disabilities we've still changed our definition of who or what is normal.
DeleteSummer Adams
ReplyDeleteVideo Response
Andrew Solomon, though I am not familiar with him, has a way about him when he speaks to draw in your attention and challenge your own thoughts. When approaching the subject of homosexuality, disability, or any mental defect we tend to go to the shadows. It’s hard to bring to light things that aren’t considered “normal.” What I think I admire most about his tactic on approaching the topics that make us uncomfortable is that he identifies all but antagonizes none. What stood out to was when he went into what he got into his bit on the different types of acceptance: Self-acceptance, family acceptance and social acceptance and how love in naturally developed in a bond where acceptance takes time. Whether we find it from our families or from ourselves. Solomon has, in my opinion, has the right way of looking at the issues discussed and how it is on the ends of all parties and I admire that. For one who can be so easily persecuted upon his sexual identity, he identifies that things aren’t necessarily done in a malicious manner.
It's so refreshing to see someone discuss a touchy topic well. You're right, he didn't antagonize any deviant sexuality or health development in his talk. Too often, and simply because of the nature of the topic, an innocent person can come across as malicious solely due to their poor rhetoric. Soloman is obviously very meticulous in his talk so as to provide a mature platform for progressive discussion on an uncomfortable issue.
DeleteConcetta Robinson
ReplyDeleteMy first reaction to this video was like what the hell is this dude talking about. At first I didn’t really understand the points he was trying to make, but after starting to get into it, everything started to make sense. I felt pity for him at first after he said that his mother had convinced him that his favorite color was blue, rather than the pink he wanted to desperately. After he continued to go on about how certain aspects of a child’s life form their identity, it made me think of all the individuals that are gay, or may have an illness that restricts how one may learn, or even interact with people. Personally because of the background I come from, I find it easy to accept people like this and acknowledge them as human beings, and find it hard to understand why some people can’t accept people like this. Overall, I think that this whole thing brought light to subjects I am not very familiar with, and helped me to think of things like this in a different way than before.
I agree with you in that his talk brought different lights to my understanding regarding those who are disabled. He's very informative, very fact-based, and it makes for a great talk. I also agree that such a little thing -- convincing him he REALLY liked a different color instead of the one he truly did -- is a tragedy. It's such a small issue, but it represents the huge amount of control some parents put on their child(ren)'s identity. It's wrong, it's rude, and it's hurtful, but unfortunately, I don't believe many parents are even aware that they're doing it.
DeleteYes, I agree with this. Acceptance is an aspect that is very hard to gain. As humans we do tend to not accept other because of them being different. I feel that people should just focus on themselves and stop worrying about someone else’s life. Especially, in today’s society, things are taken way out of proportion over the decisions/differences of others
DeleteDiamond Proctor
ReplyDeleteResponse to: Andrew Solomon: Love, no matter what
Andrew Solomon delivered a powerful and empowering speech. He brought up point of views of life that people wouldn’t think about or consider on the daily basis until their put in the situation. At first, he spoke of his childhood and how it annoyed him after a while when his mother spoke about having love for your child because he felt since he was gay he would never have a family. However, after so many experiences and encounters of not feeling accepted, he grew bonds with people and became inspired by how they dealt with certain situations. People never think about how it is to have a child that isn’t “normal” or accepted in everyday society. This video helped people to see that. It takes a really strong and loving person to accept their child and love them regardless of the situation. He encountered people who have been told to leave their child to die, but didn’t and that child now attends college. This just goes to show you can love anyone and you should never give up on anyone, especially your child. It amazes me that his views changed over the span of his lifetime. He went from having feelings that he would never have a family because he was gay, since that’s how society made it seem; to having four children of his own and now realizes what his mother meant by saying that.
Deon’e Hazelwood
ReplyDeleteI think Andrew Soloman’s advice on how to be a parent even when being a parent may be hard is extremely touching and effective. I agree with his statement that there is self-acceptance, family acceptance and social acceptance and acceptance is something that always takes time. It’s our differences in or families or social settings that unite us. I am not a parent obviously, but I would assume that it may be hard to raise a child is who different from you, but that doesn’t mean that you deny that child the love you would give another who would be defined as “normal”.
I agree with you completely, acceptance is something that does take time and a lot of people don't realize that today. That's probably why a lot of children have issues with their families. For children who have disabilities it definitely does take time for the parents to accept the circumstances and changes that they have to take on of not having "normal child"
Delete
ReplyDeleteAndrew Solomon’s speech was incredibly influential, and made me really think about how things are said, and how they can affect people. Solomon explained that love, is different from acceptance. Love is something that should be unconditional, but acceptance takes time. Solomon goes deeper and describes how many incredible people who were considered to have something wrong with them, have lived fantastic lifes. I never really understood how having a disease, illness, or deformity could affect someone personally. Solomon showed that wishing these problems didn't exist, shows that you aren't accepting of the person themselves. It’s like saying that they shouldn't exist all together because those differences are what makes that person who they are.Every aspect that makes a person different, actually creates a unique culture that they belong too. This speech showed me that the most important thing to do is be accepting of others, and once you accept these differences, perfection seems overrated.
Phil to Quinn: I really like how you brought up the fact that love and acceptance are different; a lot of people consider them to be the same thing. I like how you use a lot of info from the video to make your idea even better. Also, I like your hair.
DeletePhilip I agree, sometimes people make the mistake of confusing the two. But I pose a question. If you love someone unconditionally shouldn't you work toward accepting them? Or is it okay to shun and put down a persons way of life/ culture but claim to love them unconditionally? Where exactly are the lines drawn? I feel as though acceptance although is different from love in a way is a part of love. Please correct me if I am Wrong.
DeleteHeidi Hardenbrook
ReplyDeleteI liked Andrew Solomon’s presentation. I personally have worked with disabled kids and normal families with children. I can understand everything this man is saying. I also have seen first-hand what happens to a family when they lose a child and have a child with comprehension abilities. My best friend Brittany died last year, I was in the hospital as it was happening and when the doctor came in and said that she had died, I saw “ the center of her being pour out on to the floor”. A relationship between a parent and a child is a remarkable one. There is nothing better when a seeing a mother and father look at their child for the first time and hold them in their arms.
From Maritza to Heidi
DeleteChildren are such a joy, whether they are labeled ill, disabled or normal. Often times, parents compartmentalize their own guilt and ignorance by taking it out on their kids and trying to get them to be socially acceptable. Where it comes from good intentions, it’s quite harmful to the child’s individuality. I have also worked with disabled children and in all honesty, they were some of the sweetest kids I have ever met. I think parents need to begin to rethink their parenting methods when it comes to disabled and ill children.
From Samiya to Heidi
DeleteI feel the same way. It’s sad that the people around us see someone with a disability as having a disease when really they are bringing joy and understanding to many individuals. Parents of children who are hindered by the obstacles they are born with, have to honestly be the most patient and loving human beings in order to see love in that child that people around us will cast away as “the child we don’t want to have.”
This Ted Talk was very intriguing. Andrew Solomon gave numerous examples of many problems a child can be born with, and also how the parents of these children with disabilities or issues are able to see passed them and still love them unconditionally. I thought the part of his talk when he said parents will always love their child, but they may not always accept them was very deep. However, I disagree with him. If a parent loves their child enough they would be able to see passed the fact that they are gay or deaf or small or have autism and accept them for who they are. The conclusion of the talk when he told his story of having a son and the chance that it could have brain cancer was very well worded and extremely powerful. As a whole the ted talk was moving, heartfelt, and extremely powerful.
ReplyDeleteI agree that a parent that truly loves their child should accept them for who they are, but if the parent was brought up in a society in which differences were considered bad, it might be hard for them to do so. However, they should still put effort into loving their children no matter what.
DeleteFrom Duncan to Nate
DeleteI think you have good points and I agree with many of them and I think that when a loving parent has a disabled child they can forge a beautiful and loving relationship. When the parent is not so loving and possibly neglectful or bigoted then it is not a good relationship. I know that if I had a disabled child I would love them unconditionally.
Shelby DeVries
ReplyDeleteAndrew Solomon: Love, no matter what
When I first started to watch the video I thought he was just going to talk about him being a homosexual. Andrew Solomon’s talk is very inspiring because he doesn't only focus on being a homosexual but he focuses on a lot of topics that in an earlier time weren't viewed as socially acceptable. Like dwarfism, down-syndrome, or deafness. At first, he spoke of his childhood and how it annoyed him after a while when his mother spoke about having love for your child because he felt since he was gay he would never have a family. However, after so many experiences and encounters of not feeling accepted, he grew bonds with people and became inspired by how they dealt with certain situations. People never think about how it is to have a child that isn’t “normal” or accepted in everyday society. He brought up point of views of life that people wouldn’t think about or consider every day until their put a situation like that. The way he explained the different stories of children not being “socially acceptable” and somehow in his own magical way interpreted them into one issue in society. During the discussion he says “But we forget how we used to see people who had other differences, how we used to see people who were disabled, how inhuman we held people to be”, this shows that there has been a differences of views on society from the 50’s and 60’s. Overall the topics he talked about today made me really think of how terrible society treats kids who are “different”.
Deone to Shelby: I agree with you. Parents who have children who would be defined as “normal” never really understand what it is like to parent someone who is not “normal” because like you said they are not in that specific situation. Society does have a way of tearing down those who are different, one thing I liked about Andrew Soloman’s speech is when he said that everyone’s differences is what brings us together. Like you, I also like how he was able to talk to other people and families and grew bonds with them; it shows how everyone can offer someone else something.
DeleteAndrew Solomon is a very open, honest, and caring person. He, as a gay man, has come to love anyone with an abnormal life, i.e., being gay, mute, autistic, etc... Because of how he grow up. I enjoyed his stories of how after years of his parents trying to make him something he’s not, he could just tell them that, “it’s not the path I’m on, it’s who I am…” In a way I can related because growing up with ADHD I had to, and still take medication to help keep me focused, but what I saw was them forcing the idea that if I didn't take my meds I would be a normal person or id act completely different which was wrong I was the same person with or without them. During his Ted talk performance Andrew not only talked about his homosexuality he discussed people who born as a dwarf or born with down-syndrome and how these were other people that were accepted in society back then and how he appreciates how they continued to live in harmony despite their situation. Over all this video was very interesting and very insightful and I enjoyed how he hit points some people have been afraid to discuss.
ReplyDeleteThings such as homosexuality and diseases in today’s modern society are normal, and people need to start to accept it for what it is. People who do stand out in society as being “different” are just the same as anybody else even if they do look different or act different than other people in society. People who do have diseases or illnesses are not different they are just viewed as more unique
DeleteI think this was a very interesting way to present the idea of being a parent and how you should react to who your children are. There were some very interesting points on how society’s view of disease has changed drastically and that we as a people have become more accepting of who people are. Also his point about the difficulties of being the parent of a child who is different from the norm made me think about things a little differently. I truly believe that everyone should be accepted for who they are no matter what their religion, race, sexuality, etc. but to be the parent of someone who is like that is difficult when you are not a part of that culture. If I were to have a deaf child it would be very difficult for me to get used to the fact that my child would never be able to communicate with me in the same way that I communicate with everyone else but like Solomon said, I would still love them. This lecture made me see these issues in a different perspective.
ReplyDeleteEthan Gresko
ReplyDeleteI think this is absolutely fantastic and it is refreshing to know that there are people in our world who can speak about such things such as acceptance, love, and identity. Three major topics that play a huge role in the growth of children and the lives of everyone should not be ignored, but rather approached as Andrew Solomon does. As Solomon addresses the different roles acceptance played in the lives of various families he interviewed for his project, it was easy to see that acceptance shouldn’t be such a difficult thing for people to grasp. Rather, once someone is accepting of identity, or love, they will be able to grow, just as our society has grown since the article Solomon recited from Time magazine in 1966 that spoke against homosexuality. As Solomon said, “My question is how did we get from there to here? How did an illness become an identity?” It seems after watching his Ted Talk, the answer to Andrew Solomon’s question is acceptance.
I think that another reason why society has changed is that society is moving from more from traditional and more to now-in-the-moment. I think the main reason why society looked down upon people with differences is because their parents and grandparents also were taught to hate these people. It's a hereditary thing, and I think society is moving away from that and realizing that we are all the same, we just have our own unique aspects.
DeleteThe love of a parent is unconditional. It doesn’t matter if their child has a disability or is gay or anything else, a parent will love their child. However, they may not accept their child. Acceptance is the key to growth, as you have stated. If society is to become better has a whole it must become more accepting of all different identities and along with the new acceptance will come love and more growth.
DeleteI very strongly agree with your opening statement. While I was watching this video I was very impressed with how well he could articulate his very complex ideas about society, parenting, and disabled people. I also love how you connected Solomon's question to his talk, and suggest an answer for it.
DeleteTo Ethan from Quinn
DeleteI also found this interview very refreshing. To know that there are people in this world who are genuine, and accepting is something hard to ignore. Our society has come such a long way, and Solomon inserted himself right into the very core of the change. Solomon went out into the real world, and meant real people, with real feeling and disabilities. To hear first hand how acceptance has played a role in someones life is touching, and shows promise for our society today.
I completely agree that acceptance of a lifestyle or disability is extremely important in any relationship. If one cannot accept the differences in people, how can they ever experience a normal relationship? In some cases, love is not enough, because children/young adults need to feel accepted in order to feel good about the way that they are. That is why I believe the point Solomon made about the specific cultures is valid, because people in "deaf culture" or "gay culture" are able to appreciate the people who are like them.
DeleteHeidi to Ethan
DeleteI agree with what you said about the video being refreshing. in this decade there are arguments, fights, and protests about many issues. There is too much negativity in general. This video simply explains some of the success stories of people who have lived through hardships rather then people who have never even gone through similar hardships and go out and protest just to protest. its simple, life should be cherished, no matter how that life lives
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ReplyDeleteSamiya Coney
ReplyDeleteAndrew starts his presentation with information from the 1960s on gay and lesbian culture. They saw it as an "illness that could not be cured”, but today it is recognized as a way of life and culture for a certain group of people. Everyone has become excepting of it. But illnesses like Down syndrome, Deafness, Autism, Dwarfism, and many others are still listed as such. But Andrew has witnessed many accounts of this not being the case, these people have strived in our society and we turn a blind eye to it. But they would not have been able to do it without the love and support of those parents willing to protect them and show them the ways of the world. But I think maybe society’s definition of "normal people" is wrong, maybe we are the ones with the illness. Because people with DS, Deafness, etc. all continue on with life with their abnormalities as an obstacle, but it has made them unique and able to look at the world differently than anyone else, they see and view the world in ways we cannot imagine.
"...society’s definition of "normal people" is wrong, maybe we are the ones with the illness." I love this! i think this all the time when i look at the wrongs in society. He's is a very positive person. He only mentioned the positive things he sees about disabled people in society. Not the fact that people in wheelchairs aren't really catered to the way that they should be.
DeleteDeone to Samiya: I completely agree with you. Having had a sister who was diagnosed with Down syndrome, I think it is completely disgusting that people in society views those with it as inhuman or looks down upon them as if they don’t have the abilities to do what others who would be labeled as “normal” can do. Like you said, people who are deaf, or who have disabilities can still perform normal tasks and are simply unique. They continue to live their lives with an obstacle but that does not stop them from living. I love that Andrew Soloman was able to witness many people who were able to show him that just because they have an abnormality doesn’t mean that are Ill.
DeleteAndrew Solomon’s presentation style is very captivating. He has a way of drawing you in and keeping your attention. I think it was brilliant how he started his presentation with a quote from an anti- gay article. I thought he was going to be some Anti-gay jerk and ultimately I wanted to hear the rubbish he had to say. He later made it clear that he was quoting a magazine, and that in fact the things he said were opposite of his beliefs. That’s when things got interesting. Andrew Solomon gave me a whole new outlook on love and what love really is. For example, when he said to say you wish your child never had Down syndrome is basically saying you wish you had a different child, a ‘normal child’. This made it clear to me that we as human being need to learn to love and accept people for who they are. We should appreciate the identity of others because their identity in fact is a part of our own. No one should be shunned or be left for dead because of a difference. After all, isn't being different a key component of our American identity?
ReplyDeleteTessa Garbacik:
ReplyDeletePersonally, I thought this was a great lecture. Children with disabilities or differences like being gay are still great kids. It’s incredibly interesting to hear his take on this topic. When Solomon discussed having his son and being told there might be a problem, and still not being ready to accept it after all the research he’d done on kids with disabilities, it was really eye opening. No one wants that for their child, no one is going to be ready for it. Even so, these kids leave lasting effects on their parents and they still have worth and meaning to them. My cousin has autism and at times it can be very hard to be around him. He’s not “normal” and has these ticks that prevent him from doing certain everyday things, but if you know him and learn to appreciate these things, he’s definitely an incredible kid. It is great that opinions on these children have changed so drastically. Acceptance is so important.
Philip to Tessa: I like how you brought up the fact that even if a kid is considered "messed up" by society, it doesn't mean they aren't great kids. I also like how you brought up the fact that even though the speaker was unprepared for having a kids with disabilities, he still loved his kid. This showed that even though you may not be ready to handle a kid with disabilities, he still loved his kid no matter what.
DeleteJulia to Tessa
DeleteYou’ve seen what Solomon was talking about within your own family, and that gives you great insider knowledge. I agree that children with differences are still great kids and deserve as much as any other kid. Parents see problems as something to be fixed and Solomon made it known that children are not problems they are children. They are themselves and there is nothing a parent can do to change them, they can just love them.
Tessa, your comment was very interesting to read. Your personal experience with what Solomon was describing gives an interesting perspective on the issue. As a younger individual who is accepting of who your cousin is you really understand how important acceptance is to people. Everyone should be as accepting as you are because you can’t change who a person is you can only help them along with your acceptance and love.
DeleteIn this Ted Talks episode, Andrew Solomon talks about several different cultures that are not usually perceived this way, and how love can go far and accomplish many, many things. Parents were able to appreciate these conditions that their children were born with like they never would have before, and were able to love their children unconditionally regardless of these unfortunate conditions. I appreciate this video because it makes me think of people with disabilities in a whole new way. They possess their own culture, along with other people with the same disabilities. The most prevalent example of this that he gave was the example of deaf culture. The people who are a part of this culture do not think of it as a disability. I enjoyed watching this video. I believe that other people who will watch it will also develop a new understanding of humans with disabilities.
ReplyDeleteNikki to Lauryl
DeleteI agree with this. The way he spoke about things really shined a light on an aspect that I had never really considered before. It makes sense that people with disabilities would treat them less like something holding them back and more as just life, considering it’s a 24/7 kind of thing. I think that he was right in that we should stop treating these people as if they’re at a disadvantage and more just like another human being.
Molly to Lauryl:
DeleteI agree with what you're saying. People who accept themselves despite their "flaws" just want to be accepted by those around them. I think it's accurate that people who are different don't want to be seen as disabled or having a disadvantage.
Andrew Solomon’s showed that he is passionate about accepting individuals for who they are. It was interesting to hear him view acceptance as three categories which is social, family, and self. I agree that with anything in life acceptance takes time and it can be a hard aspect when growing into a person. These acceptances are especially hard for those who have their own unique qualities, disabilities or for the people who decided not conform to what society wants them to be. Also, as people we do tend to point out the flaws of others or incorporate judgment before an even meeting someone. Overall, Solomon displayed that love is a strong emotion to have and even though certain circumstances can make life difficult, possessing love will change your perspective.
ReplyDelete
DeleteFrom Seyvion to Deja:
You’re totally right. Solomon is a very passionate and caring individual. He really did seem to care about all of the people he met with disabilities. I especially loved how he tied his own experience in with his research. His research has taught him to love everyone, especially his own children, unconditionally. His story of being gay and not having acceptance from his parents saddened me... But, I also agree with the fact that acceptance does take time; and when you finally achieve it, it is amazing.
This presentation on Ted Talk by Andrew Solomon was truly an influential and eye-opening video which showed the importance of a parents love for a child through different struggles that they face. Solomon’s presentation about a parent’s unconditional love towards their children, no matter what their flaws are, show the extreme power and influence that love can cause. The video showed that a parent’s love is unconditional, but acceptance is difficult in many different ways. What I really loved about his presentation was his examples of stories from real parents and his was of making things that may seem not normal to a “normal person,” such as being homosexual or disabled, perfectly normal and cultural. The point that Solomon said that definitely stuck out to me was that there is a culture within diseases and homosexuality which might not stand out as much as those of religion, but is definitely evident. I truly enjoyed this video and hope that more people watch is and open their eyes to the truth about normalcy.
ReplyDeleteThis speech affected me very deeply. The idea of loving your children so unconditionally. It is the kind of love that my sisters and I have always had the great fortune to receive from my parents. I was diagnosed with cancer as a baby. I have obviously survived, but the repercussions of this illness have followed me since babyhood and will never cease to complicate my life. Everyone in my family suffers from different forms of depression or bipolar disorder. I understand the love to which Andrew Solomon refers to. I have always had the deepest respect for my parents for loving us no matter what happens. They are always there for us no matter what the circumstances are and they are always willing to seek out the most optimal care. I think it is wonderful that this man explored the idea of parenting from this perspective. I think it is miraculous that our society has progressed to the point where more and more parents are inclined to love their children so unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this Ted Talk and I think the speaker brought up some really interesting points. One of his speaking points during the lecture focused on the relationship between social progress and medical progress in dealing with certain illnesses. He made a very interesting claim, asserting that "people engage with the life they have and they don't want to be cured, or changed, or eliminated." To me, this was a very powerful idea that people we may pity or want to "fix" may have already found acceptance and identity with the life they have been given, and we should honor that.
ReplyDeleteAnother part of the lecture I found very intriguing were the details from the numerous interviews that Solomon had with the parents of the child involved in the Columbine shooting. When asked what she would ask her son if he was still here, she said she would ask him for forgiveness. She said "I would ask him for forgiveness for being his mother and not knowing what was going on inside his head." This direct quote from his interview was very powerful, and I think we can all learn a lot from it. The fact that she believes she is the one who has forgiveness to ask for is extremely moving, selfless, and mature.
Towards the end of the talk, Solomon made one more point that really caught my attention. He recognized how all of us feel like we are different from our family, like we aren't accepted in some sense. "Ironically, it turns out, that its our differences and out negotiation of difference, that unites us." This single statement pulled everything he discussed in the 20 minute Ted Talk together with ease and left a strong, moving sentiment with me.
Tessa Garbacik:
DeleteI strongly agree with your opinion on this topic and everything you had to say. The statements Solomon made about all of the parents he interviewed and what they had to say about their children and what the families have had to overcome and handle. It really hit home with me. Parents don’t want the best for their child, for their own interest, they want it so their child can have a less difficult life. They wouldn’t change anything about their child for their own benefit and that is really important.
You clearly thought a lot about Solomon's lecture and felt very strongly about it. I agree with you, this was a very powerful talk. All of us experience some sort of lack of acceptance but clearly there are people who experience it more than others but I feel that it is very important for people to accept everyone for who they are born to be and who they become as a result of their natural self.
DeleteFrom Ethan to Veronica
DeleteVeronica I just have to say I love responding to your blog posts and I cannot agree with you more on this one. You make great points and pull out very nice quotes to establish your views on Andrew Solomon’s talk. I enjoyed hearing about the different interviews Solomon had including the parents of a child involved in the Columbine shooting as well as another about acceptance in the later parts of your response. I think what he said about people feeling like they are different from their families is very true and many people feel like this, which is a reason why his talk resonates with a lot of people dealing with acceptance, love, or individuality.
The aspect of Andrew Solomon’s Talk that stood out most to me was when he described his feelings in the instance he was led to believe that his child may have one or more illnesses, and how his ideologies surrounding life as a parent of a disabled or atypical child left him temporarily. This shows how our ideologies become such a part of their identity, yet when we face adversity, those beliefs are not nearly as prominent in who we are. Sometimes this can be a good thing, in instances in which a parent who only wanted a “normal” life for themselves and their children took great meaning and purpose from facing different circumstances with a child that was not necessarily everything they had hoped for.
ReplyDeleteTo: Michael Mayer
DeleteI was struck by this as well. The truth that in the spur of the moment, when faced with hardships in life sometimes our identity, our beliefs, even the core idea that have centered our work around can abandon us in an instant. In that moment, where everything appears to be going wrong, all we really want is to reverse what has happened. It is only after reflecting upon the circumstances, that we come to terms with what has happened, remember who we are, and attempt to be our best selves and accept the situation, whatever it may be.
DeleteFrom Duncan to Mike
I think you make good points in your response Michael. I think that your views of the world will change even more drastically when you have a disabled child as opposed to a normal child. A loving parent who supports their disabled child is a great thing and they can have a beautiful relationship. On the other hand some people born with disabilities have neglectful parents and end up scarred or end up having a horrible life.
I found this Ted Talk to be very informative, and I agreed with Andrew Solomon’s views on disabled people. Working at the YMCA, I am exposed to a massive variety of people on a daily basis. About a year and a half ago, while I was working in the Teen Center, two brothers that were both around my age came in to play pool. The older brother, Jack, was physically fully functional, and the younger brother, Parker, hobbled in using a walker, because his Cerebral Palsy made it so he couldn’t walk without the added support. I’ve known them for a while, but it was the first time I’ve ever spent an extended period of time with them. They started their game, and I watched as Parker set his walker aside and used the table itself to keep his balance. About halfway into their game, Jack was winning significantly, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Parker because his disability made it difficult for him to hold the cue straight. However, Jack and Parker were both having fun, and Jack would not go easy on Parker, despite the fact that he had an unfair advantage. This caught my attention, because Jack was treating his brother the same way you would treat someone without Cerebral Palsy. I then realized despite the fact that Parker was physically challenged, he was still a person that enjoyed spending time with his family and having fun playing games, even if he was losing badly. Like Solomon said, it’s his identity, so I shouldn’t have viewed Parker as helpless and taken advantage of. He’s a person like you and me.
ReplyDeleteFrom Duncan to Jackson
DeleteI love how you used your personal experiences to expand on the Ted Talk. It helped me to better understand the views some people may have and the views of those who are disabled. Although your use of personal experience was very good I think you should maybe expand on your reaction to the Talk and possibly expand more on your reflection. You can’t one vs one me in League n00b.
Using your personal experience to relay the message sent by Solomon’s talk was very powerful. The fact that a person with a disability can be viewed as normal is a step toward accepting all types of identities. Like Solomon said, fifty years ago gay people were looked down upon and even shunned, and now they are viewed as normal people. Acceptance has changed the way we view gay people, and society seems to be moving in a similar direction with many types of identities.
DeleteI already did my three but I couldn't help but comment. This is really meaningful and you did a great job expressing how people usually view these kids vs. how they should be viewing them.
DeleteTo Jackson: The way your experience reflects those of Andrew Solomon and many of the parents mentioned in the Talk illustrates the need for societal diversity. Without experiencing disability firsthand, people will view it as a curse and a “detriment” to society. The idea of ending genetic disorders is far more detrimental because we won’t understand acceptance on the level you and so many others have, making for a more close-minded and hateful society.
DeleteAndrew Solomon’s presentation was very sentimental and I thought that some of the points he made were great and intriguing. Accepting homosexuality and different orientations is important but I think that physical and mental disabilities should be considered differently. What he said about love and acceptance resonates with me and reflects what some people may need in society. I think the quote from the bioethicist should bear weight even though Solomon made a counter argument. Some people with disabilities cost society as a whole and are a detriment to their keepers even though they may find love in them. I think the ideas of acceptance and love of the abnormal or “horizontal” that Solomon preaches are good for society but we can’t lose sight of the severely disabled on society.
ReplyDeleteTo Duncan: While your views on the adverse effects people with physical and mental disabilities are not particularly wrong, I think that the constructive societal impact created by the disabled and their parents far outweighs the those effects. The only way a society can progress toward universal acceptance is by facing adversity directly, as opposed to avoiding it. Ending genetic disorders or differences in an attempt to improve society as a whole would certainly be a step in the wrong direction.
DeleteI agree and believe that people with disabilities should be thought of as people, but they also should be given special care because they need it more than other people. I do believe they are humans; they are just humans with more-than-basic needs. But I believe that what he said about their cultures is also relevant. Once people meet people with the same disabilities, they are able to connect in a way which they are not able to connect with other people.
DeleteDuncan, I think you bring up an interesting point that grouping homosexuality and illness is kind of peculiar. I agree that as bad as it sounds, disabled people do cost society and are definitely a big burden to those who must dedicate their life to caring for them. I think Solomon also believed this before he began his research but after talking to many people who have had children or relatives with disabilities, he began to see it differently. He said how he used to pity deaf people, but after spending some time in a deaf community he realized there was nothing to pity them for.
DeleteThe fact that a disabled child is sometimes hard for a parent to treat like a normal kid is undisputable, but the parents learn to deal with their child and grow as a person by accepting them. Solomon said that the parents he interviewed about having and caring for a disabled child told him it has made them a better person. I think you’re right that they can be a burden in some cases, but most parents will end up loving their disabled child perhaps more than a “normal” child.
DeleteP.S. You're a Nazi. K thanks :)
DeleteFrom Ethan to Duncan
DeleteDuncan I disagree with how you word your statement towards Andrew Solomon’s talk. “Some people with disabilities cost society as a whole and are a detriment to their keepers.” Andrew Solomon’s talk focused more on how the people that you call “keepers” but are formally known as parents find acceptance in their children who may have physical or mental disabilities. If you think they are a detriment, please elaborate how you think society should work around them if they are a burden.
Timothy Schuler to Duncan Hall
DeleteI think that the systematic oppression of any race, culture, or creed is the basis of extremisms and even Nazism. Now I know that you are a beautiful, bulky, and well informed citizen and that you are not a Nazi. However, subtly suggesting that disabled people are a large cost to society and that our society is better off without them concerns me and shows signs of such extremism. Perhaps learning about biological cures instead of considering euthanization might be a better way to think about the situation. I hope you soon stray away from Neo-Nazism and return the s’cute friend I have always adored.
Andrew Solomon’s talk show was very long but extremely interesting. He had many great points throughout his presentation some of which it took me a while to understand. The overall message about accepting children for who they are whether they’re gay, deaf, or have some sort of illness was a very effective message. But I feel that the way he compared them was weird. For instance, being gay isn’t an illness. Majority people are born that way or discover what they are attracted to as they get older. I also believe that those disabled should be treated equally and not seen as a burden to a society, more like a gift that should be accepted.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely. The way that he compared these was really weird but in a good way. He made the connections so we can better understand the issues at hand about each topic or "illness" as he describes it. It’s kind of sad to say that some parents don’t accept their children because of their “illness” or whatever the case may be. It is very sickening because sometimes the parents end up losing the child physically and they have to go on with life living with regret.
DeleteI agree with you 100%, it was weird how he compared them but I understood where he was coming from at the same time. I don't think its right to call some who is gay "sick" because their not they just see things differently from others.
DeleteI found Andrew Solomon’s presentation to be very intriguing and informing, I liked how he talked about having the chance to talk with parents who have children with illnesses and what it is like for them. They all still love their children even if they are different and that’s what matters. If you abandon a child who has an illness I feel like that it would make it worse for them and for the parent. It is a hard responsibility that most people can’t handle but for the people that can take it on they are definitely the people that are helping making the community for people with illnesses a better one. It has showed me that if I have to live this I know I can and I won’t be alone.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Mystique. Abandoning a child with a disability seems like your abandoning your own hopes and dreams for a happy, loving family. It's weird to think that some parents would rather give away their own child then help them work with their struggles.
DeleteAlice: I agree with what Andrew Solomon says about “horizontal identities.” These characteristics, if it be sexuality, personality traits, or terminal illnesses, are hard to accept for people who don’t know what if feels like. People are quick to judge before they know what something feels like, or even what it means to be different than everyone else. I think in order to improve society, we must realize that everybody is different. They have different backgrounds and they have different traits. We will find things in other people that we have never seen before in ourselves. We need to learn that these new things are ok and we must learn how to deal with unfamiliar situations. By learning to accept people that our different from ourselves, we will make a more welcoming and peaceful society.
ReplyDeleteLily Feldman
ReplyDeleteThis speech affected me very deeply. The idea of loving your children so unconditionally. It is the kind of love that my sisters and I have always had the great fortune to receive from my parents. I was diagnosed with a deadly cancer as a baby. I have obviously survived, but the repercussions of this illness have followed me since babyhood and will never cease to complicate my life. Everyone in my family suffers from different forms of depression or bipolar disorder. Both of my sisters are gay. I understand the love to which Andrew Solomon refers to. I have always had the deepest respect for my parents for loving us no matter what happens. They are always there for us no matter what the circumstances are and they are always willing to seek out the most optimal care. I think it is wonderful that this man explored the idea of parenting from this perspective. I think it is miraculous that our society has progressed to the point where more and more parents are inclined to love their children so unconditionally.
Heidi to Lily
DeleteI am glad to see that you made it through with the help of your family. I love that modern technology have progressed that people with illness or a disability can survive and even thrive. Its incredible that even now more and more cancers are being treated and some even cured. look at Angelina Jolie, her family have been cursed with breast cancer but she thrives as an actress. Anything can happen now.
I definitely agree and think it’s amazing that our society has progressed so much in what is considered ‘socially acceptable’ from a few decades ago to now. You especially must have been touched by the video as you really can relate your life as well as your whole family to the video. I’m happy that your family, as well as hundreds of other all over the world, have been able to accept their kids for who they truly are instead of an identity that they are forced to hide behind. I feel that my parents give me that same kind of unconditional love such as yours which is such a strong and powerful thing. Although I have my flaws and so do my other three siblings, my parents never stop showing their love and appreciation for us and it is one of the best feeling a child can get.
DeleteAlison: This Ted talk really made me think. Andrew Solomon’s speech is very powerful. I love when he says that the love for children is like nothing you will ever feel or experience. I think people who haven’t experienced someone with a disability immediately feel bad for the person, but hearing all of these wonderful things the parents were saying about their children who weren’t “normal” made me realize that not everyone thinks illnesses are bad. It made me think about my parents, no matter how mad they get, they will always love me for who I am. This video is defiantly an eye opener, I think the U.S needs to find a better way to deal with people with disabilities and try to embrace them.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely with Alison because looking at it from a different perspective, not from a child having a “disability” parents will always love you unconditionally no matter what. You could treat them terribly and they will still find forgiveness in their heart for you. The same goes for children with any kind of disability, their parents should love them no matter what because just having that love is enough for them to conquer any insecurity or discrimination that they may face that much easier to do because they know that no matter what they will have the support from at least one person in life.
DeleteGena Driscoll-Brantley
ReplyDeleteAndrew Solomon’s Ted talk addresses parental love, specifically love for children with disabilities. He has some experience with that because he was a gay kid in a family that didn’t accept that. Although his parents loved him, they didn’t accept him. Solomon is both logical and compassionate, qualities that come through in his speech. He believes in two types of identity: vertical (passed on from parents) and horizontal (unique to the child) and he believes there are three types of acceptance. He is also empathetic. When he talks about the families he met while researching his project, you can tell he really cares about all of these people he’s met. This combination of logic and compassion makes him persuasive and his points hard
DeleteI found his whole ideas about the vertical and horizontal types of identity really interesting. It was a concept I had never really considered before, but once he explained them they made perfect sense. I feel like more people should recognize these notions and utilize them in then gaining a better understanding of different demographics and people.
I also think his ideas about vertical and horizontal identities are very interesting and well put together. Although we may take our parents skin color and ethnicity, children don’t always agree with their parent’s ideology as they are also influenced outside of their home. I also thought he was very empathetic with the families. His details and direct quotes from families with children then have ‘flaws’ truly show a parents unconditional love towards their children.
DeleteAndrew Solomon’s presentation was very interesting. I agree with a lot if not everything that he said. Loving your child is what is more important. Even if they have a “wrong” in their life like down syndrome or being gay. You would think that it must be hard to handle situations like having a child with disabilities but I think in his research, Solomon found that it wasn’t hard for those parents because they ultimately did love their kids. This was inspiring in that if or when I do have kids that no matter if they have a disability or if they are gay or just different, that I will love them regardless no matter how hard it will be for me.
ReplyDeleteThings like being gay, having down syndrome or Dwarfism were rejected from society as a whole and without the loving parents of these children our society would not have been able to start such a drastic change. I was stunned to hear not that long ago a person diagnosed with Down syndrome was considered to not be a person and parents were encouraged to leave them at the hospital where they could “die in peace”. Having a child with disabilities would be very difficult but when push came to shove they did whatever their child needed because their love was that strong.
DeleteAbram Guzman
ReplyDeleteIn this video Andrew Solomon talked about love a person no matter what. I can understand that it is hard to come out the closet because you are going to be scared of what your parents might think about you. He is right that your parents should love you no matter if you are gay or straight. The one thing I did not agree with is when he said that, when parents say that they wish their kids did not have autism is like say they wish their kid didn’t exist and have a new kid. Parents say that because they just want their child not to have to go through a tough time in the world. They know that this world could be a mean place for people that have disabilities so therefor that’s why parents say that.
Shantia Hunt
ReplyDeleteAndrew Solomon speech is very true many people go through things like this every day. In my opinion I feel that everyone is the same no matter what. With his view it really shows how hard it is to be labeled different. Many parents do not accept the way their children are but they still love them no matter what because it a natural parent instinct. Many people label deaf, blind, gay, bisexual, lesbian, etc. as sick but they really are not they have their own culture different from ours they learn how to live so they can 1 live amongst each other and 2 live amongst the rest of us. We as a society are really quick to judge people especially if they are different. If we all can view each other as the same no one would have a problem. I think everybody should try to learn about their child and communicate with them because you’ll never know what goes on in their mind or how they feel about being different. Love is an everlasting power that will always take over no matter what.
It is easy to say everyone is equal but people have prejudices and made perceptions on a person or group of people before they have all the facts about them. I agree that as a society we are very quick to judge and this negatively impacts those who don't necessarily fit into our ideals of how people should behave. I love your comment about love being an everlasting power because its so true because a parents love for a child could never change because of their differences.
DeleteI disagree not everyone is the same? Everyone differs from each other. But what I do indeed agree with is everything after that, Parents do tend to be some times off standing of their children because of their disabilities or sexual preference but they still love them the same. They may be hesitant to accept this at first but others may accept their children right away and introduce them to that particular community. I personally wouldn’t care how my child came out I would love them to death anyways.
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DeleteFrom Shakeiya to Shantia:
DeleteI like how you brought up the different cultures and how people who differ from societies ideals learn to adapt to their surroundings. Many people dealing with unacceptance are usually influenced by their surroundings but some do try to adapt for their own good. They don’t hate the life they’re living but those of us who don’t face the same problems or have the same experiences quickly label them as "different" and separate ourselves from them. It is pretty bad when you think about it.
Brittany Lu
ReplyDeleteAndrew Solomon’s was very interesting and alarming to me about the children who has disabilities and how their parents can act towards them. He said that the parents will love the child but not what they are born with, this is something interesting to me because even if your child has a disability you shouldn’t stray from it but just love your child for the whole they are and be proud of so much they can get through. Solomon’s talk was a little confusing at first but when it started to get deeper into the conversation I understood that even if you are born different from regular standard people we are all equal for what we are. We all have the same rights, so why should it be different for them with the disabilities. The people who help others with disabilities are truly the ones who we should look at for role models.
Tessa Garbacik:
DeleteI think one of the points that Solomon made about parents loving or not loving their child’s disease was when he talked about asking if they would get rid of their child’s disease. The mother had answered that yes, she would take her child’s disease away so he could have an easier life, but not because it changed her opinion on her child at all. The disease had helped her grow as a person and she wouldn’t want to lose that experience and growth in her life. Her child had a great impact on her, even with the disease. You are absolutely correct in saying we should all have the same rights no matter what our story. That is why I think it is not fair that in some states gay marriage isn’t legal. We are all the same. Some people just have more to overcome than others.
Andrew Solomon's speech was wonderful. So many people lack the love of a parent in their lives when it is such a powerful thing. My family has a lot of problems but my mother loves me to this day despite the things I have said and done. While I may not have the issues the other children do I can still be very difficult to deal with; I'm stubborn, headstrong, angry, and cold. Yet, my mother has learned to deal with me just as the parents of the disabled children have. Each parent has their own way of dealing with what some may call ‘problems’ but despite it all they love them unconditionally.
ReplyDelete"The love you have for your children is unlike any other in the world."
Phil to Lizzie:
Deletei completely agree with you Lizzie! Especially the part about you being stubborn, headstrong, angry, and cold. i like how you brought up how your mom still loves you, and that you are very lucky for that because a lot o people don't have that in their lives.
I agree with your statement and connection about how your mother will always love you. There's never a time or situation that my mother or father would ever stop loving me. They might be disappointed or they might not agree but Solomon state of "the love you have for you children is unlike any other in the world" is the most accurate statement.
DeleteI agree that some children are deprived of a normal, loving upbringing, which is unfortunate. However, I do believe that in some cases, children bring this upon themselves. usually teenagers do not want to be bothered with family, and their parents, in most cases, just deal with it. But it is not the fault of the parents when the child will not accept their love. In other cases, children are just not loved or wanted by their parents, which is sad and unfortunate.
DeleteFrom Deja To Elizabeth
DeleteI agree that the love from a parent is unconditional and it is something that cannot be described due to the emotion having so much power. Parents learn more about their kids each day and they learn they do learn how to manage the qualities of their child. The same goes for children learning more about their parents. It is sad to see that all kids do not have the parental support or love. Knowing that, I am thankful for my parents and support/love we show one another.
I feel everything that Andrew Solomon said is completely true when it comes to parenting and how society as a whole comes together and views things the same way. I fell things would be really different if people different have disabilities, people’s fears would be different. What if people that had disabilities were considered normal and weren't seen as having a disability, but people that were born to our definition of normal were considered to have a disability? Society as a whole all has one image of things and if someone is different, then that person is picked on and isn't considered normal so they are an easy target which needs to change.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately people with disabilities are negatively looked upon because their differences don’t fit into what the norm is. Not fitting in has forced the creation of communities which has largely impacted the change in the view of people who are different from us and benefited children find their own identities. If you think about it every single person is different from one another in some way and that will always create conflict especially when children pick on each other.
DeleteI agree with what Zach said because people who are born with illness or diseases aren't viewed in society as normal which is very discouraging. Although you may be born with a permanent disability, that doesn't mean you cannot do the same thing everybody else is doing. Everybody is always different from one another in some way, and that is what a good thing about our society is, we are all unique in our own way, and people need to accept that.
DeleteI agree with Zach because in society when something or someone is considered different, the first human reaction is to be afraid of them or to look down at them because they’re unknown to what the “norm” is. It’s not right because like Zach said, what if the roles were suddenly reversed? Wouldn’t we be wanted to be treated with rights and to be treated equally? We would hate the thought of even being looked differently and not being able to be a part of society. So why can’t we be open to those with “disabilities” like we would want to be?
DeleteI agree with Zach because, like Summer said, people first instinct is to be afraid of what’s different and I like how Zach sates that everyone is different in their own way, no two people are exactly alike. It’s true that if someone or something strays from our perception of normal we tend to shun it or them because we don’t fully understand them we just assume that because their different there bad and we can’t be associated with them.
DeleteAndrew Solomon’s speech, Love, No Matter what, sends a powerful about parenting. He turns the different types of parenting, illness, and lifestyle and puts them in terms of culture. It is hard to be a parent sometimes, and especially difficult when you are the parent of a child with a disability. If I had a child with a disability I would keep the child and love them with all my will. But I think it is perfectly understandable for a parent to not want their child to need to have a hard life through their disability. Andrew also makes the point that having children with disabilities makes families love more, they go further than they would have in any other circumstance.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement how he has different types of parenting,illness, and lifestyles and explains them in the terms of society. And it is understandable for parents not to want to see their children hurt. I agree and like your statement how when there is families with children with disabilities family's love is tested and goes further due to the circumstances they had to go through.
DeleteI agree with how some people couldn't take of the child because it is a lot of responsibility to take on. And I agree with how the parents who do have children with disabilities, have to give them unconditional love all the time or that child will feel neglected.
DeleteEmma:
ReplyDeleteAndrew Solomon is very open to how people identify themselves. He first event he talked about was with his mother, bother and himself in a store where the owner asked each boy wanted a balloon and his mother emphasized when he asked for a pink one that blue was his favorite color. Andrew says that parents will always love their children but acceptance form them comes from time. He also states that the “love you have for your children are unlike anything else in the world.” Stating that many parents he talked to would not change them being in their life’s not matter what. When he talked too one of the parents of the Columbine shooters, the mother said that even though the world would be better off if her son was not born, she loved her child so much she could not picture her life without him. I think this sums up what he was trying to say that even though your child is not what you expect you’ll still love them.
From Shakeiya to Emma:
DeleteI agree that a parent’s love for their child is like no other. I truly do believe that parents do what they can with good intentions for their child, but often they don’t stop to think twice and contemplate whether or not what they’re doing is right. I don’t mean this in a negative way, but I feel like parents usually make decisions based on how they want their child to live in contrast how that child actually turns out. I do believe that it's all with the child's best interests in mind though.
Jeremiah King
ReplyDeleteMs. Parker
Journalism
20 January 2015
Ted Talk Response
Mr. Solomon gave an amazing talk and throughout the presentation he made so many amazing points and brought up so many interesting questions about society, life, and love. The thing I think resonated the most with me was what he said about how just like its important to have biological diversity as Darwin most famously advocated and that it’s also important to have diversity of love. And I think it’s interesting because so many things are hated and prejudiced just for the act of being different, but it’s that difference that makes the world great. Difference of body, of mind, of life, of religion, all these things are what make us people. Regardless of whether or not your Christian or Islamic, gay or straight, democrat and republican, it’s time we stopped trying to force our views and ideals upon people and just try and accept some of our differences. Now I’m not saying we ought to go up to all the murderers and be like “Great job! I respect your choice!” but maybe we ought to try and understand more, because it’s important to know that your enemy fights as hard as you fight, believes and strongly as you believe, and loves as deeply as you love and sometimes we have to accept that.
This made my day. You summed up the points that everybody has been making and put your own spin on it as well. You are absolutely right. We fear what we don’t understand, but if we make an effort to understand, accept, and love these differences between everybody than the world will be a lot better off. I liked your example of not congratulating murderers for their choices but making an effort to not jump to negative conclusions about people who we may consider our enemies.
DeleteSeyvion Scott
ReplyDeleteThis TED talk was very interesting. Solomon made very good points about loving unconditionally. I think it was very coincidental that Solomon was doing research about people with disabilities, and then when he had his child, for a moment, he believed his own child had one too. I was very relieved when he said that after five hours of testing, the baby only had a cramp. But perhaps what really stuck to me was when, at that point in time, he was willing to still love his baby unconditionally and to accept that baby with whatever illness or disability it would have had. I love how his research made him a better person. This, to me, is what humanity is all about. It is about accepting others, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or functionality. This is man is a great example of how others should think.
Heidi to Seyvion
DeleteI agree with your last comment. In this decade people are still debating gay marriage, but people are more and more comfortable with having there children gay. it is interesting that people can focus on one thing and forget the other. for example, gender, people think men overpower women and use them. although men themselves are just as overpowered. in relation to the topic people focus on families loving there " ill" children, when we should be asking "why are they ill if they are gay?"
From Shakeiya to Seyvion:
DeleteI also like the fact that he revealed this coincidence along with the rest of his speech because no one wants to hear someone talk or try to explain a struggle that that person himself didn’t even experience. I also admire the fact that he threw in his own personal experiences with his topic of research because it builds a better connection with parents who are currently or have in past, went through what he thought he was going to have to. Even though the initial information about the child was false, he could still say to those parents that he had an idea of how they felt.
Heidi to Seyvion
DeleteI agree with your last comment. In this decade people are still debating gay marriage, but people are more and more comfortable with having there children gay. it is interesting that people can focus on one thing and forget the other. for example, gender, people think men overpower women and use them. although men themselves are just as overpowered. in relation to the topic people focus on families loving there " ill" children, when we should be asking "why are they ill if they are gay?"
Solomon does a great job at describing acceptance and love. I feel his opinions should definitely be taken in consideration for society’s current social issues. I also like that Solomon reminds others that love is an unconditional emotion and everyone should be able to experience that feeling of being loved and expressing it.
DeleteTimothy Schuler:
ReplyDeleteI found the level of psychological detail investigated by Solomon to be amazing. The issue of loving someone despite their shortcomings, or at least what our society considers to be shortcomings, seldom crosses my mind, yet this issue affects so many people in our society. I found what he said about vertical and horizontal identities to be particularly interesting and also very important in understanding familial and intrapersonal acceptance. I agree that there is a distinction between the seemingly tangible values passed down by parents, like skin color or religion, and the learned values from peers and personal identity. By understanding this distinction, our society as a whole can surely begin to accept a more eclectic set of cultures. Parents especially would better understand that horizontal identities are not something to cure or to figuratively beat out of your child.
To Tim from Quinn
DeleteThe explanation, and use of the terms horizontal, and vertical identities was also very intriguing to me. Soloman's intense attention to facts, and details were outstanding. There is a huge difference between parents, and their children, and and these identities help show why. Putting down others, and wishing they were different is not the way our society should be. Its important for people to know that disabilities, and identities are not something that can, or need to be changed.
Julia to Tim
DeleteYour analysis of Solomon’s talk is spot on. Talk about familial acceptance is very important yet seldom addressed by society. The distinction between vertical and horizontal identities is hard to understand, but imperative to parenting. Those who can’t distinguish between vertical and horizontal identities don’t know what is changeable. Many people think that a child’s brain can be changed by influence, and it isn’t true with many things. Accepting these things can make society as a whole better.
ReplyDeleteIn the beginning I was pretty confused as to what Andrew Solomon was talking about and I thought that the entire video was about his parents not accepting his sexuality. As the video progressed I realized that this was not his message, then I began to wonder how his sexuality tied into the social issue of mental health and/or illnesses. About halfway into the video the connection became more and more clear to me, in a sense that, whether they believe so or not, parents have their ideal image of how their children, family, and future will be and when that doesn’t happen, some feel cheated and want to try and alter the outcome. They’d say that they do what they do, and make the decisions they make for the good of their child, but aren’t really sure if it is truly for their child’s good, if that make sense. They really want to their children to conform to society so life would be “easier” for them. However, as much as they may complain and whine, if you ask a parent to switch children, as explained in the video, they’d most likely say no because they do truly love the children they have. Parents just want their kids’ lives to be liveable.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE! I was confused at first also. I thought that Ms. Parker was really going to have us sit here and listen to a man talk for 21 minutes about him struggling to be gay. He really did have a lot of interesting things to say and it is really sad that people wish that they had different children when there are a plethora of people in the world who wish for children in general.
DeleteDeone to Shakeiya: I was extremely confused at the beginning too, I almost wanted to click the video off because I wouldn’t want to listen to someone speak that way about individuals who are gay. I agree with you, I think all parents have an idea of how they would like their child to be from the moment they find out that they are expecting a child. Though not everyone does, the love that parents have for their child is indescribable and like no other, much like what Andrew Soloman said in his speech.
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DeleteI was confused of what his point was also. At first his words were harsh but, as the day continued it became clear. I loved how he related his personal experience and how he researched and used stories to further conclude his point, of love should be unconditional and that if its love the will love you despite your sexual preference or orientation. If they feel indifferent or judgmental then it is indeed not love.
DeleteFrom Seyvion to Shakeiya:
DeleteAt first, I didn’t understand where he was going with his speech either. I thought he would go more into depth about his personal childhood, and what it was like growing up as a gay male. Instead, he tells about his research and the things he’s learned. In the end, I did appreciate his message. Even if your parent doesn’t accept you, they will always love you no matter what, because loving your child is inevitable... Unless you’re Satan.
from Diamond: Your view on the video is relatable. At first I wondered what his moral of the speech was, but then I realized the same thing you realized. Which is parents play a keen role in how their children will turn out. For example, the doctors tried to tell the women to leave her dwarf child in the hospital to die and she refused. ignoring the risks of the effects it would have on their child. As long as you believe and have faith you can accomplish anything she kept her child and he went on to be a college student later in life when she was told her child wouldn't even recognize. This goes to show a parent's love is like no other and they will do anything to make sure their child doesn't have to sudder. this is the reason they rear their children in the direction they may feel is right for us. however its sometimes necessary to let your child branch off into their own path and beliefs because they'll still end up well off like solomon
DeleteJaida Degnan
ReplyDeleteSolomon clearly put in a lot of thought, personal experiences, and research into what he was talking about and I am greatly appreciative of that. The idea of loving someone despite their deficiency, or what people may consider a deficiency, made me think of situations where I might have let a flaw influence my feelings towards someone. By Solomon using different cases like being deaf, or dwarves, or having down syndrome, it really made me question myself and our society. When speaking of the vertical and horizontal identities I was alarmed as to how valuable this idea is to personal, family, and social acceptance. Solomon spoke on the importance of diversity of species for the planet to continue on and it spoke volumes when he said the diversity of families and affection is essential to “strengthen the ecosphere of kindness.” I could not agree more with everything Solomon addressed especially when he said that it was our differences and our individual challenges that unite us.
I relate to how this also made you thing about yourself and society. I tried to put my life experience and opinion into what he said and it was hard to relate in some cases, but what he was saying was very accurate and you are right its clearly oblivious that he didn't his research and feels very deeply to everything he is saying and is part of the different life styles there are.
DeleteThe aspect of this Talk I appreciated the most was when he and his husband were given the unfortunate suspicion of an abnormal child. He described and publicly recognized his own hypocrisy in wishing and praying for a normal, healthy child -- as many parents do -- and then remembered that parenting isn't about passing on your individual way of life, thoughts, and constructs onto another person, in a sense creating a "little you"; it's about loving your child, no matter their identity. No parent wants a child to grow up unhappy, be it through health-related issues or a deviant sexuality. I was alarmed at the newspaper clippings he called upon from his childhood; though, as he discussed in his Talk, it really makes one wonder how poorly we're treating similar variations in humanity today. He speaks powerful words, especially in today's culture. We need more activists like Solomon to continue the growing rate of acceptance we're seeing in families and society, because while the progress is inspiring, there's still more work to be done.
ReplyDeleteIn this complex and compelling TED Talk speech, Andrew Solomon spoke about accepting people especially one’s children no matter what their ‘flaw’ or ‘illness’ was. He uses the examples of being homosexual, having Down syndrome, being deaf, and having dwarfism, as flaws parents should embrace in their children. I agree with Solomon in that aspect that parents need to accept there children and show them love, but I do not agree with pairing homosexuality with these other illnesses or handicaps. Being deaf and having Dwarfism or Down syndrome in my mind cannot be compared at all with homosexuality. Even though being Gay is a natural thing in humans, I feel as though Solomon was pushing that in the beginning of his speech in the wrong manner. Being homosexual is not an illness and should never be conceived or associated as such. Just because I do not completely agree with the way Solomon was pushing his message, he does have a perfectly valid point and reasoning about human love.
ReplyDeleteI agree completely. Most times when people talk about medical afflictions, homosexuality is included and that’s not fair. Down syndrome, along with the other diseases listed, people really suffer with. Sorry, but personally speaking, I don’t feel like being gay is something that people suffer with living in the society we live in today. Now a days being gay is okay. People are more accepting these days and to compare to a serious medical condition is selfish
DeleteAleja: After watching Andrew Solomon’s talk I have begun to realize the depth of acceptance in society. People don’t always except that not everyone is the same. There is no guarantee that your child will be born “normal”. The only thing you can guarantee is the love that you have for him or her. Solomon understood this to be true. He also understood that it takes time to accept things. Whether it be sexuality, illness, race, or background it will take time. In the end the only person that has a real problem dealing with it is the parent that didn't get their “perfect” child or the family with a terminally ill relative. The only thing that matters is that they are loved unconditionally.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Aleja because the only thing you can guarantee when it comes to having children is the love you can give them. Even if your child doesn't come out with any physical looking "abnormalities" they could still be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, etc. and even if that seems wrong to the world, at the end of the day that is your child, the life you created, and the life you will look over no matter what. Even if the world doesn't love and accept them, you have to.
DeleteFrom Seyvion to Aleja:
DeleteI completely agree with you, Aleja. There is no guarantee that your child will be born with everything working normal. However, you always have control over how much love you give to your child. You always have control over how you treat them, and the principles you teach them. I think it is terrible when a parent doesn’t accept their child for who they are. The child should be loved unconditionally... Otherwise, the will grow up incomplete.
I agree that society plays a major role in most people's life and their decision making. Because things are viewed a certain way, not everyone believes and accepts the same things. Many people look down upon people who are considered "different" from everyone else in society; causing that person not to feel accepted. As parents, you have no choice but to accept them and love them as your child. No one else would be able to give them the love and acceptance as you. Sometimes, it takes a different experience outside of your comfort zone to broaden your thinking and change the way you see certain things or people. This cam sometimes cause a new found respect for a certain culture that you may have disagreed with before. It doesn't matter if the person is different by choice or from birth, they still equally deserve to be accepted or at least loves the same as "normal people."
DeleteClaire
ReplyDeleteWhen you think about certain disabilities that a person may have most people might feel bad for them and wish that they didn't have to live with that disability. One thing you might not think about is that the disability that they have is part of their identity. It’s part of who they are. One thing I liked that Andrew Solomon talked about was that if you were to get rid of their disability you would be getting rid of them. “… someday we will cease to be and strangers you can love will move in behind our faces” As blunt as this quote is it really causes you to think.
Sidney: Claire makes a great point when she says that the disability is a part of them. That really is something you don't think about because any time you meet or see someone with any kind of disability you wish that they didn't have it. You begin thinking about how they could be suffering or how they're discriminated against and you want them to be "normal" but to them that is their normal because it's who they are.
DeleteTo Claire from Quinn
DeleteFeeling bad for those with disabilities is a common theme among our society. Your description that these disabilities make everyone who they are is very true to me. It shouldn't matter if your disabled, gay, straight, or religious. All people matter and you did a really great job showing that. The quote you choose really pulled it all together.
I agree with Claire, Solomon did use the right words to really communicate with us his feelings about this issue. And it is true, the way a person is born is the way the truly are and without that part of them, they would not be “them” anymore. Loving someone for who they are is extremely important when parenting, a child needs to know that they are accepted and can succeed no matter who they are.
DeletePhilip: I really like how he mentions that love is unconditional, it doesn't depend on their disabilities, sexual orientation, etc. If your love depends on one of those things, it isn't love, it's nothing. I also like how when he asked the parents about loving their disabled kid, they didn't want him to be "normal" so that way they could love him, they wanted him to be "normal" so his life is not as difficult.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with what Phillip said and how he just wanted to be loved for whom he is, even though he may be different than some other people in the society. Andrew Solomon was speaking from his heart and how he wanted to share his story and how people accept him know because he is not afraid of what other people may think of him. He believes that everybody is unique in their own way, which society should accept.
DeleteI completely agree with you Philip. He shouldn't be judge because he doesn't fit everyone else’s views, even though he differs from others in the society. After all everyone is different in some way. He was indeed speaking from the hearts. I loved how he shared his stories and experiences to prove his point on unconditional love. He feels he is accepted now because he embraces it and basically isn’t afraid to speak his mind. I feel he did and excellent job on his speech.
DeleteI agree with you Philip about the unconditional love. I am not a parent, but I see my my mother loves her kids. I know that my mother loves me and she will always have my back and support me with anything. That goes the same for parents with children with a disability. parents want to see their children thrive and all parents want to give their child is love and let them know they are loved. Loving your child and caring for them should not be braised on if they have a disability or not, they are your child you should love them no matter what
DeleteI agree with you Philip. I thought it was very cool how when asked if she wished her child was “normal” she replied that she wished for him to be normal so that he wouldn't suffer. I think this needs to be taken into account when dealing with this situation. Yes! We should strive to love those who are disabled and if they appear to be happy than they should be allowed to be just that. However, there are some very degenerative physical and mental conditions that can be very harmful and hinder one’s ability to live and function comfortably. These people should be loved as equals but we shouldn't just accept their situation. We must strive to help them live as comfortably as possible.
DeleteIt should be normal to be accepted in society no matter what. This speech goes to show how many parents dread having a child who's different and may not be socially accepted until they have one of their own. As long as you love them it teaches you there's no such thing as a normal or perfect child. The only reason things are viewed this way is because of reality and society's perception; which makes life difficult for them. But when they realize they have the ability to make their child's life easier, social acceptance doesn't matter anymore.
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DeleteI agree with you Philip. Love is unconditional and I liked that he said that too. Mainly because its so true. And if someones love depends on sexual orientation or a disability then it isn't love. You are right in that also. I completely agree with everything you said. Good job Philip.
DeleteAndrew Solomon research about identity and how society and parenting all play a role in people’s identity was moving. His points made about how fair along our society has come from seeing gays and people with illnesses as not normal, that they shouldn’t be in society to being accepted and being able to be part in society was accurate. Solomon talked a lot about his interviews with parents with children with disabilities like deafness or Down syndrome and how to society these children were seen as impairments to society and how this wasn’t what the parents wanted to have in their lives but now that they have it they wouldn’t change it for themselves but for their children. They would take away the disease so their children can have an easier life but they wouldn’t take it away for themselves. Solomon also keep mentioning how there is no love like a parents love for their child, that no one can know that feeling until they have children of their own. This statement is true, I don’t have children but the love I know my parents have for me is like no other. Overall everything he said had a meaningful purpose and support. I agree with what he stated and found everything very enlightening.
ReplyDeleteTahmir Payne
ReplyDeleteI believe that this Ted talk was very deep compared to the previous ones we have watched. I was very interested while watching this episode because it was about a topic that many people try to stay away from . This topic is extremely sensitive and usually steps on alot of toes. While watching this video i began to feel emotional sympathy for the parents and alo children that have to deal with these situations on a daily. I began thinking about how they would live their day to day lives bieng judged and looked upon differently. That must be a difficult thing to go through on a day to day basis. I dont believe that I could even face the struggles that people with disabilities have daily.
I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for those parents and their children that are suffering from the type of situations he discussed. I agree with your response but I think that society has changed tremendously. Although there still may be multiple situations in which people are treated differently, I think that now we're learning exactly how to be welcoming and accept them. There will still people with their own personal feelings but as a whole progress is looking good. It's not easy accepting that even yourself is different from others but with the support and unconditional love from parents that's all that truly matters.
DeleteJamellah Craven
ReplyDeleteI loved how he said love was unconditional and it doesn’t depend on other disabilities, misfortune, or sexual preference or orientation if you will. He believed if it depended on theses thing then it is in fact not love. I loved how he used different stories as example to get his point across. I like the one of when he was a little boy and he wanted a pink balloon but his mother denied and send no I think you would much rather prefer a blue one. It shows the limits of effects a parent has or how power an effect the can have. It showed exactly what he said my favorite color his favorite color was blue but he was still gay
I have to disagree because I feel that his mother denying him the preferred color balloon didn't necessarily affect his sexuality and his personal identity because he still knew that he wanted that color balloon and to what kind of people his affection would be directed to. That incident didn't make him hate himself and who he was but it opened his eyes to the fact that a parent can love you with all of their heart but even so they will try to change you to best correlate with what their beliefs and morals are. It’s not done maliciously but it’s because its human nature.
DeleteThe TED Talk with Andrew Solomon was truly motivational because he was talking about the struggles the world faces with illness and diseases, and how he was trying to protect his children from illness’s as well as him. He discussed on how the world looks at people with diseases such as Down syndrome do not get treated fairly. For example school and education, the parents of these children believe that they do not get the same education as a normal kid, and they want to change that, to have equality throughout the education system, and that change is required.
ReplyDeleteI think that because of the way he grew up, he was more inspired to deliver this message to the world. Even as a child he had no problem with expressing who he was. Personally, I think the more people hide behind who they are the harder it will be on them. If people accepted others differences and treated them just as fairly it would help prevent bullying. It would also let those be comfortable with who they are.
DeleteI agree Jasmyn, I also feel that because of the way his childhood was he could see and understand how to love and accept who he was and how to love anyone and everyone like him in one way or another. I like how you, Nick, pointed out how the parents of these kids are pushing for equal education for those with disabilities, but I feel as though they should choose whether they want easier classes or if they want to challenge themselves and prove that they are capable of anything.
DeleteFrom Tahmir to Maritza
ReplyDeleteI believe that you make a great point with this statement, advertising companies are most definately aware of the damage they are causing. They are initially just printing ads to put money in their pockets honestly. As a result our society suffers tremendously. I strongly agree with your statements on individuality also. Just because I am a certain gender why should i have to fit the stereotypes exactly?
From Tahmir to Miricle
I believe that your statement is very true on many levels. Even though the advertisment companies continue to push out negative stereotypes we as a people can overcome this by bein individuals, not conformists.
FROM Chloe Schneider
ReplyDeleteTo Dynesha White:
Yes, women in media are often seen as overly sexy, but isn’t that something we should try and change and not shrug off as no big deal. We have obviously come a long way but that doesn’t mean we should completely dismiss the problems that still continue to occur. Neither women nor men should have to simply deal with sexist and stereotypical advertisements such as the ones shown.
To Jackson Bell:
I completely agree that women should not be looked down upon or judged for being confident in their body and modeling. I don’t think the women modeling themselves are the issue but more the stereotypes that go along with the ads themselves. As large companies they should realize their content is widely viewed and has an influence on what society deems as acceptable.
To Adianah:
I understand your point but I think saying a woman’s body holds power over a man is just a continuation of the statement that a woman’s body is an object. Also, it shouldn’t be a goal to have women be better than men, the whole point is for men and women to finally be equal in all aspects of life.
Morgan Castle
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the manner in which he presented the stories of all the different people and tied them all together. I think he really did a good job conveying the feelings of the people he refers to. I was impressed with the way he expressed his opinions without insulting anyone. I am sad that we treated/treat people as if they are less than a person but we have come a long way. The way he compares the love that these parents have for their children was amazing. Often we don’t think of the parents in these situations, we are usually more concerned with what is wrong not what is right.
I feel that Morgan makes a good point because it is sad to think about how people were treated and were misunderstood and how magazines would say that it’s okay to not feel guilt for hiding away or "putting your child out of their misery” if they were a downs kid. That’s unfair to them because that deprives them of living a fulfilling and happy life even if it wouldn't be for very long. It would be the best years of their life just by being surrounded by loving and caring people that show no judgment or discrimination.
DeleteAdi : Andrew Solomon explains in a great way that you should love someone no matter what their flaws are. I agree with him. You shouldn't put hate towards someone because they aren't like you, nor should you try to force your ways on someone. I think when someone is different than everyone it is unique and beautiful. I think the best thing as a parent you could do for your child is accept. Accept your child for whom they are and influence them to stay their selves because many children are influenced by other children to be someone else. It may not always be a good thing either. If a parent can’t accept the way a child is born I don’t even think they are ready for parenthood because from my experience my mother loves all her children and doesn't care about any of our flaws. My little brother has autism and all I see is a beautiful soul in a small body. He’s full of joy and no worries and I swear he can’t hurt a living thing. I don’t look at him differently and I know he can do anything I can because he’s extremely smart. I believe it’s wrong to not accept someone because they’re not what you want them to be. Everyone deserves the love and affection from their family, because without that you can make a child feel lost.
ReplyDeleteAt first I was confused by Andrew Solomon’s words, but once he explained that he was quoting a source from the 1960’s, I knew he had something interesting to say. He has a very inspiring view on how love continues to grow despite society’s taboo on things like disease and homosexuality. Parents hope for a healthy, “normal” child but Solomon has discovered that there truly is no such thing and you have to love a child regardless of their “flaws.” If every parent would see their child as they are and accept them, the world would be a better place for children and adults alike. It’s amazing that society is gradually gearing toward acceptance for all children and people.
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way in the beginning. I didn't understand exactly what he was talking about until further on into the talk show. But that's very true that parents should love their kids unconditionally despite whatever flaws they have. I think that now more and more parents are accepting of their children sexuality and differences.
DeleteI thought this TED talk was interesting. I like how his research led him to have a better understanding of the importance of individuality. He made a point that people want to be accepted and loved despite any part of their lives that are viewed by the masses as flaws or disabilities. Solomon argues this point by explaining how many deaf people embrace their deafness and identify with the Deaf Community because they don't believe it is a flaw or disability, it's just who they are. He uses this same argument when discussing individuals who have down syndrome and dwarfism. He says there are three levels of acceptance: self acceptance, family acceptance, and societal acceptance. People who accept their differentiating qualities identify with them. If more people could understand and accept that people identify themselves through their differences the world would be a better place for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, especially your last statement because the world would be a much happier place if everyone could overlook other people's flaws. People do want to be loved no matter their disabilities; just because someone is different doesn't mean they don't deserve love and respect. Also, your just a good writer so keep it up little friend.
DeleteThis was the longest video I've watched in Journalism but I must say, Andrew Solomon's speech is so genuine and so realistic. Love is always there but acceptance needs to be developed overtime. We cannot expect people to immediately shows intimacy to unfamiliar things, but it is possible to start with tolerance and willingness and then acceptance. Diversity is unity. Truly.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way Andrew kept a constant flow during his speech. Even as captivating as his words were, I was constantly thinking of his presentation and how effortlessly he addressed this intense topic. I then realized that his flow and articulation on the subject was a direct reflection all of his years of research and personal experience. If I attended church regularly, I would want Andrew to be my pastor. He took this article for the New York Times to another level of depth. Contemplating as he went over the notes of his research while dealing with the thought of having a child with a disability. This reminded me of a disability workshop I attended last summer In Cape Cod. Particularly of the words we use to associate disability. Saying a "disabled person" is different than a "person with a disability". Identifying and saying disabled before you even mention that they are a person can have demoralizing effects on the subconscious. Some may say that it's being too tender or overly specific, but you may not realize the daily struggle a person goes through every day, only to be reminded of by your seemingly insignificant phrasing.
ReplyDeleteI found this video to be very impressive and fulfilling. Andrew Solomon based his project love no matter what through the question how much love can there be even when everything can go wrong? Solomon having several conversations with various families helped to complete his statement and create less bias. In which they later connected presenting they were not every day scenarios or something everyone will go through. This allowed viewers to think, however it should not take a disability or mental illness to recognize love is unconditional. Solomon’s project recognize unconditional love is different form self, family, and social acceptance.
ReplyDelete